Death Watch: New for Sharper Image!

Date: November 23rd, 2005 4:15 PM
For Immediate Publication:
Refund Offer for the Tempus Fuget Death Watch™ from Sharper Image

Sharper Image would like to announce a refund offer for our Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™. While one of the more popular items this holiday season, perhaps the must have gift of 2005, we realize that not everyone wants to know the exact moment, right down to the millisecond, of their death. Sharper Image will happily refund the purchase price for those dissatisfied with the first quality chronograph, available in both dusky pewter and teeth white gold, to accurately predict the moment of life cessation.

While we are offering a refund for the Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™, Sharper Image would also like to emphasize that the wonderfully crafted watch, offered in both mens’ and womens’ sizes, is a great way to tell loved ones that you want to spend time with them and using the Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ they will know exactly how much time that is. It also makes a terrific stocking stuffer.

The Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ is also completely recyclable, perfect for a treasured family heirloom, though we suggest swabbing it with rubbing alcohol between uses. There is no reason a relative or friends should go to the grave with a finely crafted timepiece flashing zeroes, when you could be making the most of the time you have left.

Sharper Image would also like to suggest that there are some people who are better able to function under the impending shadow of death than others. For example, the last words of a consumer who recently purchased the eye-catching Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ were “Is this working?” If we could answer that customer, our answer would be yes, the Swiss-made Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ does work and that Sharper Image cannot be held liable for appointments or travel plans made after the appointed time.

At this time, Shaper Image cannot comment on the claims that the Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ is unable to differentiate between brain death and death death due to an ongoing lawsuit. We could reiterate that the stylish Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ is a tremendous product made by the Swiss and maybe brain death is death death and who are we to challenge the Swiss, but we will not.

Finally, the tiny skull that dances across the face of the watch twenty minutes prior to death can break off and be a choking hazard for smaller children, so Sharper Image suggests that any children wearing the watch be supervised. Also, apparently children are terrified of death so perhaps the Tempus Fuget Death Watch Pro™ would not be the best present for our younger customers. They might be bettered served by the ever popular Sharper Image Ball of Electric Lightning Plasma.

Thank you and Happy Holidays from Sharper Image Incorporated, L.L.C.


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