Freedoms and Rights that you may not have realized were taken away from you by the Bush Administration.

(subtitle: Way to go, Idiots!)

The Freedom to pump your fist up and down in an attempt to get truck drivers to hit their horns. – The National Traffic Safety Board has determined that in difficult times like these, it does not want to dilute the warning value of a truck horn. Anyway, if you want to have fun on the road, maybe you shouldn’t be driving.

The Right to yell, “Watch out, behind you!” at movie theaters. – The government has decided that only people shouting, “Watch out behind you!” at movie theaters should be approved Homeland Security agents, and that it is your responsibility as a US citizen to do so immediately.

The Freedom to wear flip flops. – Starting June 1st, 2006, all US citizens will be required to wear those Greek sandals that tie around the ankle. Approved sandals may be purchased from Foot Flavors, a division of Halliburton.

The Right to refuse fries with that. – The Food and Drug Administration has determined that answer to all fries related questions will now be “yes, please”.

The Freedom to shuffle around densely-populated urban areas with your pants around your ankles. – President Bush believes that there is no societal good achieved by “Donald Duck-ing” it. He believes that if you truly feel the need to walk around sans Sansabelts, there are other countries that would be happy to have you. And when he says other countries, he means Canada.

The Freedom for men to cry. - Since men should not be crying anyway, this Freedom is not a great loss.

The Freedom to take a book out a library with the words “Buttwad” or “Precious Juggies” in it. – Smut is just one of many ways the terrorists win.


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